I’ve known this for a very long time. I’ve even told a few people, but it didn’t really prompt me to take much action on it. To my credit, it’s hard to know where to start on a grieving project, which is what I feel like I have in front of me. So I suppose I put it on my Virgo to-do list, as if it is something I can tackle like organizing the basement (I’ve been notoriously slow on that, too).
Anyway, here’s the thing: I never really fully grieved when Warren Zevon died. Yes, I cried. Yes, I talked about it, and still do in comfortable contexts. I’ve written about it a little. But I also compartmentalized it – put it away in some corner of my brain where I could access it nominally and even feel sadness, without having to really walk through the fire. This has done a lot to block my movement through the other huge losses over the past decade. I believe it’s done damage to my ability and desire to write. I don’t know how deeply it’s worked to obscure my ability to be effective in life overall. I wonder what it’s done to my accessibility as an authentic, flesh and blood friend and lover and seeker of Spirit. I’ve got to write through tremendous grief build-up to get to the other side of Emotional Rehab Mountain.
It has been exactly 10 years today that I received the call from my dear friend Nancey:
“He passed.”
Those were the only words she needed to say for me to understand immediately. I’m glad I heard it from her, one who really, really got the essence of this man & his music. Last night, she was the one to remind me of the anniversary. Earlier this year, I’d thought a lot about the looming date, but filed that away too, leaving it to wait in line with the process of grieving itself.
I had the amazing luck or karma or whatever to grow up to actually get to know this intense and brilliant man whom I idolized since I was 12. There is just as much rich life-stuff in knowing and understanding and learning from the letting go. It’s just not the easy part.
Back when I was allowing myself to remember the date, I gave some thought to what to do about this 10th anniversary. I tried to push myself to write some major article or even a book with stories of WZ as a major factor. One of the things he encouraged me to do is to journal daily. I’ve hardly lived up to that. The best way I can pay respects today is to start to remedy the reasons why. Ready or not, it’s finally happening.
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September 7, 2013 at 1:16 pm
bob may
Damn, of the all musicians that have crossed into my attention in my 54 years of life, Warren is the one whose absence hits me on a daily basis. I can still remember the first conversation I had, in college about Warren. It was 1977, and I was a freshman and working in the college mailroom, and we were talking about music and the styles we liked. I said then, as I say still today, that for me, it was all about the lyrics, and more importantly about how the lyrics reflected a statement about the songwriter/singer’s own life an experience. I was told, you should check out this guy, Warren Zevon. I didnt do it quite then, as I was still focusing in on John Lennon and Dire Straits, but shortly thereafter, I encountered Warren’s music. I had the good fortune to see him in concert on at least 4 occasions, the stone pony, the place in south amboy off route 35, the beacon theater in ny and one other location I cant recall right now. I still remember at the stone pony show, folks screaming to warren, bruce bruce…Warren replied, as only he could, “I thought you guys were bringing him.” I never had the good fortune to meet or speak with him, but he’s always been a light for me. My cell phone always has at least one Zevon ringer. If you need anything my dear dear friend, in putting together any additional thoughts or stories, you let me know…love you…You are the sister I wish I had…..
September 8, 2013 at 12:45 pm
Robin Renee
Thanks for your comment, Bob. I have had a couple experiences in my life also when someone turned me on to a bit of music that made a huge shift in my life. I am definitely glad you immersed in the music of WZ – It’s a most excellent affinity to share. And yes, you can definitely help me put down some stories. Thank you so much. I’ll be in touch about it.
September 7, 2013 at 3:47 pm
Dvd Avins
From this long distance in time, I think “Folk Rock” took folk idioms and turned them into good pop, but not into rock, except culturally. Southern Rock post-Garth Brooks Country, and some bands like the Grateful Dead turned a very limited set of folk idioms into Rock. But to my limited knowledge, WZ was the only musician who had a large rock catalog, but when you listened closely, it was all Folk (and a wide variety of it) underneath, some of it saying what Folk Music needed to say in the late 20th Century. Thank you for reminding me of him on this anniversary.
September 8, 2013 at 12:56 pm
Robin Renee
This is a great observation. I heard an interview with John Mellencamp a while back, and he was talking about how his songs really are folk songs, and that it was frustrating to have the record execs insist on the pop-rock treatment for those tunes in order to create hits. By contrast, I never got the impression that WZ was out of phase with the productions – seems to have been very much an honest fusion. So many of the songs observe and reveal things about human condition most writers of the time didn’t even touch.
November 21, 2013 at 11:09 pm
Jason Wendleton
I am seriously considering writing something (an eBook?) that’s partly about Warren. Also, I’m about to be unemployed (read: lot of time on my hands) and I think I’m going to break down and finally listen to THE WIND. When I do, I’ll probably sob like a baby…and eventually try to make some sense of it (by it I mean “life, the universe, everything”).
I’ll keep you posted on my reaction to Warren’s final album.
November 24, 2013 at 10:39 pm
Robin Renee
You know, I’ve actually listened to The Wind and the thought of listening to it now still feels daunting. I was chatting with a FB friend the other day who says she’s never brought herself to watch the documentary. At least none of us are alone in our wanting to keep finality at arm’s length.
I do hope you somehow, overall, have a positive experience with the music and whatever processing has to happen for you around it. It’s also really great to see that you are writing here again. I will catch up w/ your words as soon as I have a good block of time to be present and do them justice.
August 1, 2014 at 10:21 am
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